When I'd see her Tuesday nights
I'd ask about her plans
Never dreaming they'd involve
An interloping man
If it hadn't been a blur
She wouldn't have obeyed
I never said that she was wrong
But I felt so betrayed

When I'd commit some petty crime
You'd think she'd understand
Thinking she was in the right
She was controlled for sure
But what did it mean to her?

Week after week she went
Trying to meet her needs
Crying over all she spent
She was still incomplete

After she went the second time
She was in his command
And couldn't bear to tell me that
She gave in to his lure
But what were we to her?

One and a half men is all that she needs
She's found one and a half men begging on their knees
While half simply owes her, the other adores her
She's found one and a half men too many to please

She's found one and a half men
She's found one and a half men
She's found one and a half men
She's found one and a half men