i've got this friend, let's call him mitch
he's got this chick, let's call her bitch
she's keeping him active
taking up all his time
she's semiattractive
he doesn't wanna hang with the guys
anymore

this chick isn't right for him
she just wants his cock
this chick is all wrong for him
cause she hates punk rock
this chick's just a fucking ditz
wearing abercrombie and fitch
with a superiority complex
they only love eachother's sex

do we get pissed
every time you don't call?
do we make you buy us shit at the mall?
do we throw fits
when you look at hot chicks?
are we jealous of every girl you've kissed?

mitch has always been one of the coolest kids i know
that's why it hurts so much to see him go
with this ho
i used to always tell him that he's way too good for her
but judging by his taste in girls, now i'm not so sure
she's so unpure
i guess it's not my place to criticize his decisions
but she's confusing him worse than long division
with immaculate precision