Bret:
They call me the rhymenocerous
Not because I'm fat
Not because I've got birds on my back
Because I'm horny, I'm horny
When I'm on the mic
I'm like global warming
You can't ignore me
In the bedroom I'm the gentleman
All the ladies come before me
Check your yellow pages I'm a registered rhymenaecologist
Now I'm passing over the mic to the hiphop-potamus

Jemaine:
They call me the hiphop-potamus
My lyrics are bottomless

Bret (spoken)Is that it?
Jemaine(spoken)Yeah

Bret:
Sometimes my rhymes are obscene
Described as smutty, pornographic scene that's r18
They're so filthy, I feel guilty
I have to rinse my mouth out with Listerine
Like when I rap about those bitches smothered in margarine
Hahahaha
(gun sound affects)
(spoken)Sorry about that, that was a bit violent
Sorry about that one, you have a go

jemaine:
They call me the hiphop-potamus
cause I got flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin off the top of this oesophageus
Not because I'm a water dwelling mammal from Africa
Called a hippopotamus I'm not a hippopotamus, I'm a hiphop-potamus
Where did you get the preposterous hypothesis that I was a hippopotamus?
Did Steve tell you?
What's he got to do with it?
Bloody Steve!!

both guys:
Other rappers diss me
Say my rhymes are sissy
What, what, what, why, why, why?

jemaine:
Be more constructive with your feedback

Bret:
Because I rap about reality
both guys:
Like me and my grandma having a cup of tea?
Ain't no party like my nana's tea party
Hey-ho

bret:
Freestyle, hiphop-potamus you do some freestyling
jemaine:
I'm freestylin just on the microphone
On the bbc, on the bbc
I'm just freestylin on the bbc
Um British broadcasting company
i'm just basically making this shit up as I go along
Basically just free
Just basically from the top of my dome
Sometimes it's not so good

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all the lady listeners pregnant
Yeah that's right, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches know, should know
I'm trying to correct this