There's a naked trumpet man
Next door to me
Whenever he feels like playing he
Points his bell at me
Through the window I see him playing
All day long
I don't wanna see that sight ('cos it's really wrong!)

He's so well endowed it's hard to believe
That an instrument is so damn big, it's
Bigger than me
He goes…

I've got a dirty peeping Tom
Next door to me
Every time I play my trumpet
He tries to see
My naked body but I
Hope he knows
The heating's broke and stuck on full
And the curtains don't close

I reply, "I hope, I pray, he doesn't love me in that way
'Cos after all I'm straight
I think that I'll just move away
And he goes…

"I hope, I pray, he doesn't love me in that way
'Cos after all I'm straight
I think that I'll just move away
And they go…