i tried not to wake you up. i took my shoes off in the hall. i watched the blinds divide you inches at a time. felt the silence in the air. knew i'd wither in your stare. say you'll be fair. maybe i'll stop shaking. checked the mailbox every day. saw your briefcase in the hall. dug your nails into me inches at a time. rub my nose down in the dirt. cauterize me make it hurt. you say it first. maybe i'll stop shaking. if i breathe will the chandelier fall and shower us gently. if i leave will the governor call and pardon us. let me speak and i'll take everything on me. that's not me. and tasting my bravado. gave you back your key. i don't need another partner. in my efforts to destroy the kid in me. that's not me