Did I step on your trumpet or did I lump
Lump them in with you
(Did he step on your trumpet or did he lump?)

I put you name on the ballot 'cause you should run
Though you don't want to
(He put your name on the ballot thought you should run)

I been called the wet blanket
By cranks who I out rank with no thanks
Who do not have a clue

Yes I know how to be quiet just one more thing
I made you something
(He thinks he knows how to be quiet made you something)

I wrote for you a lovely sonnet
Bout two great friends
Yours truly and you

We'll grant just one social skill
Share a gesture of goodwill
How I try to relate
With my shipmates
Then I just start blurting out
The first thing on my mind

How am I lookin in your frilly bonnet with the diamond on it
I guess I better go
(How's he looking in your frilly bonnet with the diamond on it?)

I'm a people magnet
When I wear your jacket
Good luck gettin this

Pleasing people
Is so predictable
We love you now
Then stab you
How many times I obsess
And am making a mess
Failing to impress you in all that i can't do

Would you take care of my pet parrot
And feed him these
He speaks less than me
(Would you take care of his pet parrot and kill him please?)

You speak so much about my casket
My body basket
Did I do something wrong
(You speak so much about his casket, his body basket)

We'll grant one more social clue
The landfill shall be home to you

All my ships sailing relations
Have finally found
Who I am made out to be
Me and free of

Pleasing people
Is so predictable
We love you now
Then stab you how many
Times I obsess
And am making a mess
Failing to impress you
In all that I can't

Be just who you're made to be
Pappa is so mighty pleased with thee