We love the royals
Because they care about Australia
We love the royals (love the royals)
We're like the empire's genitailia

History has shown us
That they think we're a bonus
During war
When they need cannon fodder
By the score
We'll be there

We love the royals (love the royals)
And their noble history
We love the royals (love the royals)
Except for Henry the 8th and Richard the 3rd
And the other one who had syphilis

They're not at all outdated
Though a bit to closely related
That kind of thing
Is illegal in Alabama and Mississippi
And Tasmania

We love the royals (love the royals)
Though their private lives have shown
We love the royals (love the royals)
That we're better off on our own

Republicans all say
That they'll take the Queen away
Then who'll be on the money?
I tell you if it's John Howard
You won't say, "tails or heads,"
You'll say, "tails or dickheads."

Although they're a useless waste of money
We love the royals (love the royals)
They've got a gold-encrusted dunny
We love the royals