I've got the bones of the Elephant Man,
My plastic surgeon could have lent him a hand,
But lately i've been thinking that maybe something's just not right,
when i look into the mirror i can't work out if i'm black or white,

(talking)
now theres all these facts out there that people dont know about michael jackson, for instance did you know he has a monkey named 'bubbles'?
well did you know hes a huge fan of british food?
yeah he loves yorkshire pudding
especially he really loves spotted dick, he absolutely loves it
something i hear he feeds the children that cone to visit him at his house
yeah, hes very generous like that

and another thing, we all assume hes had plastic surgery, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe his facial disfigurements may have occured naturally? (sings)

some people have been saying my face is always changing, it don't look like it did when i was 10 years old.
they say ive had work done, but i can tell you it was not fun, i've always had a problem with snot in my nose
my habit was to pick it, but i just couldnt kick it
i picked and scraped and gouged unil it was no more
i went for reconstruction, but they found an obstruction, something was stuck in there all along.

dont blame it on the surgeon, dont blame it on the tabloids, dont blame it on the money, blame it on the boogers

i just can't *Sniff*
i just can't *sniff*
i just can't control my snot*sniff*
i just can't *sniff*
i just can't *snort*
i just can't control my snot *spit*

don't blame it on bubbles
don't blame it on elizabeth taylor
don't blame it on Osama, blame it on the boogers