I had an accident, which I won't explain
I slept for nineteen years in a storm water drain
To when I awoke it was two-thousand and ten
I was feeling rather peckish when I woke up and then

I went in search for my favourite place
I was really looking forward to the "good times, great taste,"
Yes, I went to McDonald's looking for some fries
When I walked in the store and to my surprise
All the people in there had bloodshot eyes
And track-marks on their arms and thighs

I looked at the menu-board above my head
I turned to this creep and I said,

"I'll have a Big Smack and a quarter ouncer
A diet cocaine and hash browns to go
I'll have an ecstasy shake and an acid fudge sundae"
"Will you be shooting up here
Or tripping away, man?"

I woke up and found it was only a dream
I crawled out of the drain and I started to scream
Because across the street was a McDonald's store
I wondered inside, but it was worse that before
Because the people in the all had tie-dyed jeans
And long hair and guitars and you know what that means

I looked up at the menu-board above my head
I turned to this dude and I said,

"I'll have a Big McLentil and a Quarter Beaner
A tofu McShake and McChickpeas
I'd like some buckwheat fries and a seaweed pie."
And if I ate all of that I'd probably fart till I die.