Last night I heard somebody say,
Somebody told me you were gay.
At first I thought they must be wrong,
Then I caught you singing Elton John.
And I thought that was strange.

If you were gay,
That would change everything.
Instead of going out for beers,
Will we start going out for tea?
If you were gay,
Tell me what would that mean?
Did you think this whole time we hung out we were dating?

I finally got the courage to ask,
Have you been checking out my ass?
You laughed and told me I was wrong,
Then admitted that you liked Elton John,
And I knew you were strange.

If you were gay,
That would change everything.
Instead of going out for beers,
Will we start going out for tea?
If you were gay,
Tell me what would that mean?
Did you think this whole time we hung out we were dating?

Is it possible you just turned around?
Did you just toss yourself into the lost and found?
Is it possible you just turned around?
Did you just toss yourself into the lost and found?

Well since that day I’ve heard a lot,
Heard you were gay,
But I’m glad you're not!
(Not that there’s anything wrong with it)