One
I can't get this knot... is it two loops or three?
Is it "down through the hole" then "thrice round the tree"?
My boots are on tight. I've got kid gloves to spare...
But my breeches and braces are draped on the chair.

Chorus One
This necktie's all wrinkled! My hat is unfound!
My walking stick's broken! My vest's on the ground!

Two
I noticed red stains at half past the hour.
With tardiness certain, my outlook was dour.
A shirt in that state is a shameful display...
(But with waistcoat in place it might do for the day.)

Chorus Two
But a collar so covered in filth should be burned!
One's standing in social milieu is concerned!
I never thought dressing could cause so much grief!
When I'm dead or asleep it will be a relief!