When I Was Delivered, I Cleared My Nostrils And Spanked My Own Ass
Later That Day, I Invented A Silicone Based Protein That Cured The World
Hunger And Brought About World Peace
I Owed A Multi Billion Dollar Corporation By The Time I Was Six
And You Can Too

I Won The Nashville Chili Cook Off
Home On The Prairie, Mother Fucker
Big Trucks And Little Women, I Take 'Em Skinny Dipping
You Want The Life I'm Living, Who The Fuck You Kidding
I Circumcised Myself With My Bare Hands
Grizzly Adams, Mother Bitches

Don't Need An Elevator, I'll Take The Stairs
I Wrestle Alligators, I Ain't No Square
I Don't Need Toilet Paper, I'll Use My Hands
And Wipe 'Em On Your Face, 'Cause I'm The Man

I Once Slapped A Guy So Hard His Mom Lit On Fire
And That Bitch Lives In Alaska
You Figure It Out
So You See, My Little Bitches
If You Buy One Minute And 48 Second Seminar
You Too Could Become The Champion Of The World
I'm Joking, You're A Loser

When I Take Off My Shirt Even Old Ladies Flock To Me
I'm Like Don Johnson, You Fucks
Don't Need An Elevator, I'll Take The Stairs
I Wrestle Alligators, I Ain't No Square
I Don't Need Toilet Paper, I'll Use My Hands
And Wipe 'Em On Your Face 'Cause I'm The Man

Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion
Champion Of The World

Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion
Champion Of The World

Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion
Champion Of The World

Champ-pion, Champ-pion, Champ-pion
I'm The Champ, You're The Peon