Last year I got knives for Christmas

Stayed at home and no one missed us

Lying on the bathroom floor

I don't want to ho-ho-ho no more

No one knows that I'm not well

As I stare in awe at this burst Noel

Lights burning from the street in

I know I'll spend this season greeting

When good King Wenceslas looked out

Everything was fucked and I was just about

To carve the turkey and watch Eastenders

Because they're my friends and my friends are strangers now