Brian: And I'd like to sing a song of gratitude to that special chum.

When I have a heart that's heavy,
Feeling I was born to lose,
You are there to say that life's okay,
Thank you for it all, dear booze.

When a chilly wind is blowing,
Telling me to sing the blues,
You begin to show your soothing glow,
Thank you for it all, dear booze.

Drifting, flying, on a cloud of whiskey dreams...
No more sighing, eyes alight with moonshine beams.

When a love is unrequited,
When she brushes off my woos,
You are there to mend, my fluid friend,
Thank you for it all, dear booze.

Drifting, flying, on a cloud of whiskey dreams...
No more sighing, eyes alight with moonshine beams.

When a love is unrequited,
When she brushes off my woos,
You are there to mend, my fluid friend,
Thank you for it all, dear booze.

Thank you for it all, dear booze¦

Quagmire: Look honey, there's no guarantees with the Q-Man. He marches to his own beat.
Patty LuPone: I can't believe you still won't admit you were a jerk!
Peter: Hey everybody! It's Glen Quagmire and Patty LuPone.
Lois: What's the matter with you two?
Quagmire: Oh she's not gunna play out of proportion, Lois
Patty LuPone: Hardly. You know not a lot of people are aware of this, but back before I got married, I met this scumbag Quagmire in a bar. He asked me out, and for some reason, I said œYes.?
Quagmire: Jackpot! Heh, heh, heh, alright!
Patty LuPone: Well, we've been dating for quite sometime and then one night I caught him in bed with a stewardess!
Quagmire: They prefer the term, œFlight Attendant?. Well, well actually, this one preferred the term, œDick Slave,? but go on!
Patty LuPone: I never felt so used in my life. I mean for all I knew this tramp could have been 1 of 50.
Quagmire: No, no. There were only two others. One was 17, so that doesn't count. An- and the other one was a Real Doll so that doesn't count either!
Patty LuPone: I could strangle you right now. After all these years, you still can't admit you treated me like shit!!
Quagmire: Hey honey, it's your fault for trusting me in the first place. And let me put it to you like this!