Now If I had a nickel I know what I would do
I'd spend it all for candy and give it all to you
I'd spend it all for candy and give it all to you
'Cause that's how much I love you baby
That's how much I love you.

Now if you were a kitten with pretty glossy fur
I'd take you up and stroke you and listen to you purr
I'd take you up and stroke you and listen to you purr
'Cause that's how much I love you baby
That's how much I love you.

--- Instrumental ---

Now if you were a tiger I'd hang around your den
I'd pester you my honey until you let me in
I'd pester you my honey until you let me in
'Cause that's how much I love you baby
That's how much I love you.

Now if you were a horsefly and I an old grey mare
I'd stand and let you bite me and never move a hair
I'd stand and let you bite me and never move a hair
'Cause that's how much I love you baby
That's how much I love you.

--- Instrumental ---

Now if you want to marry now let me tell you what
I'll go and find the parson and let him tie the knot
We'll go and find the parson and let him tie the knot
'Cause that's how much I love you woman
That's how much I love you...