We're talking to a blind cripple woman with a hairy back
who claims to be be Michael Jackson's only secret friend
We'll take a break and be back in 3
1, 2, 3
Phil Donahue, we love you

Sally Jesse Raphael, the southern bell is oh so swell
but hope for a gun, hope for a gun
Hope for a gun just to kill, kill, kill, kill
Hope for a gun, Hope for a gun,
Hope for a gun just to kill Oprah Winfrey
Be yourself, be yourself
My name is Caroline of North, I'm from Noth Carolina!
(Be yourself)
I don't know how many of you know this but even
as I speak I'm being sodomised by a ghost
(let her finish)
In my previous existence I was queen Nepatiti of Egypt
(me too, me too)
and at the moment I'm a member of the church of latta day channelers
And I'd just like to say
That there ought to be a law against you shooting off your mouth
I don't invite you in but you still get into my house
You've got the world upon your shoulders, and the weight upon your mind
Tell you something Oprah Winfrey,
there's more weight on your Bee...
Hope for a gun, hope for a gun
Hope for a gun just to kill, kill, kill, kill
Hope for a gun, Hope for a gun,
Hope for a gun just to kill Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Winfrey is the fattest most powerful woman on the planet earth
It takes the entire guana canal and three cans of sweet belts to feed =
oprah
every day
Oprah Winfrey, you are the Gross National Product.
I'll get my guns and ammo, cruise down through L.A.
Ask you for your autograph then blow you away
BLAM BLAM BLAM
When the cops pick me up and take me to the station
I'll tell them very simply that I did it for the nation
And, there's a reason for my plan, something that they do not know
I'll sell the story of my life and guest star on Hiraldo
Oprah, Oprah, I want to, turn you off!
BAHHHHH!
Fire!