I won a big prize in a magazine.
A night in Ramsay Street,
With what's-his-name and Charlene.
I sat there eagerly with my private invitation,
My thoughts were filled with bizarre initiations.

This couple oh-so-sweet, naive and innocent.
Their ideas of fornication would make Lady Di look bent.

Thought they'd be hip to smack, maybe enjoy a whack,
But they were real nice kids,
So I tried a different tack.
I pumped up their hearts with love,
And mind expanding drugs,
And made a proposition with a rubber glove,
I thought they'd need convincing,
Then Kylie started mincing and Jason was expanding,
When I said I'd ride 'em tandem.

Jason and Kylie menage a trois me,
Let's get together and we'll practice making babies.
Jason can play Ken, Kylie plays Barbie,
And when I start playing Rin Tin Tin,
They'll both learn how to doggie. Ruff ruff ruff!
And they called it 'Puppy Love'.

I'll be Mrs Mangle with a revolutionary French Blender,
Kylie can be the Bastille and then Jason can defend her.
And poor old Daphne in a car crash died,
Now maggots eat her corpse from the inside.
They're just as good in bed as on the TV screen,
Young intellectuals will know what I mean.

Kylie and Jason, let's play Freemason,
I'll chase you 'round the house while you wear silly aprons.
I'll be the wife who doesn't understand,
It's not the clothes that make the man it's the handshake.
1-2, 1-2-3, 1-2-3-4 hey, hey!
Jason and Kylie, e tu brute.
They're just like Free Range Eggs, they're a damn good lay.
We made real fine threesome each one of us inside us,
And when you root like that nothing can divide us!
1-2, 1-2-3, Jason & Kylie for me!