And I'll tell you while I'm able
Or I'll smash your skull if you're not
Drink enough Black label
It's a hard mans drink
And though the bottles broken

Put your money on the table
Strain the glass through your teeth
So we grew up mean lean
Kings of the street scene
Without a mothers guiding hand
To keep us clean
Down your rum
We'll take life as it comes
And all you blue rinse critics
Lick our literary bums
I drank my first pure malt
Before I was three
I smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes
My pappy left for me
And I romanced a little lass
Who was twelve years my elder
At the age of six I held her
That year I also bed her
So before I was seven
My first child was born
I told a pack of filthy lies
As a politician
I heard my own confession
As an act of contrition
I spent ten years as a Trappist monk
In a village in Tibet
And I walked up Everest naked
Just to win a bet
Well I cut off my leg
To win a one legged race
And when I won, I stitched it
on my little sister's stomach
I've fought Mohammed Ali
I've seduced Mata Hari
I've even worn a sari
When I impersonated Ghandi
And I dare any man here
To call me a liar
(Liar!)
But I swear I've seen Ezekial
I swear I've seen Isiah
Toasting marshmellows
In Beelzebub's fire
And we're mad mad mad
Dangerous to know
We never give a tinkers cuss
About the seeds we sow
And we stay up late
And never be forlorn
And when the morning comes around
We'll kiss the crack of dawn
We took the whacks from Kerouac's
And dusty Dostoyevsky's
And when all was said and done
Booze was all I had left me
For all the worlds great thinkers
Are all a looooaaaaaooooaaad of pus
And if you ask us how Zarathustra spoke
He spake thus,
Drink drink drink
Drink until you're drunk
Drink until you can't stand up
'til you're roly-poly stunk
'til your bladder bursts
'til you throw a fit to curse
'til they lift you up still comatose
And slamdance in the hearse
We're good, good, bad, bad
Ugly as sin
We mix up cough syrup
With our gin
So take your medicine
I pray that when I die
There's someone else around
To kiss my arse goodbye
Yes, I pray, I pray, I pray that when I die
There's someone else around to kiss my arse goodbye