I was impressed like everyone when man began to fly,
Out from earthly regions to planets in the sky,
With total media coverage we watched the heros land,
As ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand.

In awe with admiration we listened to them talk,
Such pride felt they, such joy to be upon the moon to walk,
My romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me,
Spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee.

(Chorus)
Oh the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there,
Relieve you and believe me, without a worry or care,
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars,
The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to mars.

They don't partake like you and I of beefy burger mush,
Their food is specially designed to dissolve into slush,
Absorbed by multi-fibers in the super diaper suit,
Otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot.

(Chorus)

You may well ask now what becomes of liquid they consume,
A tube is led from penis head to a unit in the room,
The water is recirculated, filtered for re-use,
In case some anti-gravity pee gets on the loose.

(Chorus)

Whenever man has conquered in his quest for frontiers new (la da da da)
I'm glad that he's still had to do the numbers one and two,
It makes it all so ordinary, just like you and me,
To know the greatest heroes, they had to shit and pee.

(Final chorus)

Oh the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there,
For cosmic constipation theres none that can compare,
If shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars,
Oh the intergalactic laxative, the intergalactic laxative, the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to mars.

Donovan Leitch