The Humpty Dance
Digital Underground

Aa'it stop whatcha doin' cause I'm about to ruin the image and the style
that ya used to. I look funny, but yo I'm makin' money so listen up

world I hope you're ready for me. Now gather round, I'm the new fool in
town and my sound's laid down by tha Underground. I drink up all the
Hennessee ya got on ya shelf so just let me introduce myself. My name
is Humpty, pronounced with an umpty. Oh ladies oh how I like to
frumpty, and to the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bumpty.
I'm steppin' tall y'all and just like Humpty Dumpty you're gonna fall
when the stereos pump me. I like to rhyme I like my beef funky. I'm
spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

I'm sick with this. Straight gangsta mack. But sometimes I get
ridiculous. I eat up all tha crackers and tha licorace. Hey yo fat
girl commere are ya ticklish? Yeah, I called ya fat, look at me I'm
skinny. It never stopped me from gettin' busy. I'm a freak. I like
the girls with the boom. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee. They say I'm ugly but it just don't
faze me. I'm still gettin' in tha girls pants and I even got my own
dance.

(chorus)
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do tha hump. Ohh do me baby. Do the
Humpty Hump. Ohh ohh do me baby. Do the Humpty Hump. Do ya know what
were doin'? Were doin' the Humpty Hump yall. Watch me do the Humpty
Hump. Just keep on doin' tha Hump.

People say "yo, Humpty you're really funny lookin'" That's aaiit 'cause
my body's in motion. You stare, you glare, you try to compare me, but
ya can't get near me. I'm on the floor, bein' at the bars and see all
the ladies adore me. Oh yes ladies I'm really bein' sincere 'cause in
the 69 my Humpty nose will tickle your rear. My nose is big. Uh uh I'm
not ashamed, big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid. I'm gettin'
laid by the ladies, you know I'm in charge. Note how I'm livin' and my
nose is large. I get stupid. I shoot an arrow like cupid. I use a
word that don't mean nuttin' like loopded. I sang in Dowhatchalike and
if ya missed it. I'm the one that said "just grab 'em in tha biskets".
I also told you that I like to bite well yeah, I guess that's obvious I
also like to write. All ya have ta do is give Humpty a chance and now
I'm gonna do my dance.

(chorus)

Oh yeah, that's the breaks. Let me get a little of this base groove
right here. A dooreaar dooreah dooreaar dooreah. Ah yeah, now I told
y'all a little about myself, lemme tell y'all a little about this dance.
It's real easy to do, check it out. First I limp to tha sounds like my
legs is broken, shakin' and twitchen' kinda like I was smokin' crazy
whack funky. People say you look like MC Hammer on crack Humpty.
That's aaiit 'cause my body's in motion. It's supposed to look like a
fit or a commotion. Anyone can play this game. It's my dance y'all
Humpty Hump's my name. No two people will do it the same, ya got it
down, when you appear to be in pain. Humpin' funkin' jumpin' gig around
shakin' your rump and when a dude or chump ups and points a finger like
a stump you tell him to step off I'm doin' the hump.

(chorus)
(add Puerto Ricans do the Humpty Hump)
(add Samoans do the Humpty Hump)

Let's get stupid (gimme the music, do the Humpty Hump)

And to all the ladies, peace and Humptiness forever.

From: "If you lived here, you'd be home now."