Arr, arr, arr, arr

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we don't do anything

But I've never been to Cleveland
And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow
And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
Well just tell you we don't do anything

And I've never hoist the mainstay
And I've never swabbed the poop deck
And I've never veer to starboard
Cause I never sail at all

And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Cause were the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lay around
And if you ask us to do anything
Well just tell you we don't do anything

O I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping ball
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall

And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daises
On a big red rubber ball

And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in leggings
And I've never been to Boston in the fall!