Aarrhhh...Aarrhhh...Aarrhhhhh...Aarrrrrhhhhhhh!!!

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"

Well I've never been to Cleveland
And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow
And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the Fall.

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"

And I've never hoisted the mainstay
And I've never swabbed the poop deck
And I've never peered to starboard cuz I've never sailed at all
And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the Fall

(Burp)

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"

Well I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not to good at pinball
And I've never thrown my mashed potaters up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten headlice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Who be this man of Relient K?
And why be he so full of contridiction?>

We don't know what he did
But we're down with Captain Kidd
We don't wake up before lunch
But we all eat Captain Crunch
We don't smoke
We don't chew
We watch Captain Kangaroo

And I've never licked a sparkplug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I've never looked good in leggings
And I've never been to Boston in the fall!!!

(Spit.."Ka-ting!!!")

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"