Playing on his slide trombone in a certain monotone
He was known as Mister Monotony
Any pleasant interlude that would mean a change of mood
Didn't go with Mister Monotony
Sometimes he would change the key
But the same dull melody
Would emerge from Mister Monotony
Folks for miles would run away
Only one prefer'd to stay
She would come around and say
"Have you got any monotony today?"

They got married as they should and around the neighborhood
She was known as Missus Monotony
They were happy as can be and they raised a family
Six or seven little monotonies

From another village came a snappy clarineter
She heard him play and strange to say she liked him better
'Twas the end of Mister Monotony

She refused him when he tried
Bringing her back to his side
She just answered when he cried:
"Have you got any monotony today?"
"Haven't got any monotony today
Can't play
Today
Haven't got any monotony today"

[Alternate lines from the soundtrack:]
Soon there came another bride
And she snuggled to his side
But he answered when she cried: