Mirror mirror what am I this mornin' (big dummy)
What do you call a guy that ain't got no learnin' (big dummy)
I spent every dime that I made last week and there ain't even lipstick on my cheek

What's another way to say overlay meek (big dummy)
I could've kissed her a dozen times last night (big dummy)
A pretty little buddy and I wouldn't hold it tight
I ran out of gas in my old clunk and I ran I gotta spare it outta my trunk
Sometimes I think I oughta be a monk (big dummy)
[ guitar ]
It wadn't very late but I thought I better take her on in (big dummy)
I couldn't hardly talk for a quiver in my chin
She let's sit in a parlor awhile she gave me a wink and a great big smile
I said I better go gotta drive ten miles (big dummy)
I got up my nerve next week from big brother Luke (now you're talkin' hahaha)
He told me high steppin' girls don't like the spook (haha haha)
But she told me she didn't want me around said you go jump in the river and drown
She's goin' out with that naughty Bill Brown (big dummy now you're a big dummy)