IF I HAD A HAMMER
I'D WAKE UP MY NEIGHBORS
POUNDING OUT A RHYTHM
ALL ABOUT YOU

IF I HAD A PENCIL
I'D PUSH ME SOME PAPER
I'D BUILD A SKYSCRAPER
TO GET CLOSE TO YOU
IF I HAD A LASSO
I'D SAIL OUT THE WINDOW
AND LAND ON AN ISLAND
NEXT TO YOU
IF I HAD A HOT ROD
I'D FASTEN UP MY SEATBELT
AND BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT
GETTIN' TO YOU
BUT I AIN'T GOT A HAMMER
AND I AIN'T GOT A PENCIL
AND I AIN'T GOT A LASSO
SO I'M DOING IT THE HARD WAY
LIKE A POST POST-MODERN MAN
IF I HAD A CREDIT CARD
I'D CLEAR ME A PATHWAY
THROUGH THE DEEPEST JUNGLE
RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR
IF I HAD A CAMERA
I'D SNAP AWAY MY FINGERS
AND COLLECT UP THE PICTURES
OF YOU OF COURSE
BUT I AIN'T GOT A HOT ROD
AND I AIN'T GOT A CREDIT CARD
NO CHANCE FOR A CAMERA
SO I'M DOING IT THE HARD WAY
LIKE A POST POST-MODERN MAN
WELL I AIN'T GOT A HAMMER
AND I AIN'T GOT A LASSO
NO CHANCE FOR A CAMERA
SO I'M DOING IT THE HARD WAY