Me and that navy ain't speakin' at sailin' I tell you I'm through
On the advice of a doc I got me a shock I had to have somethin' to do
These nerves I got are from soakin' too long when the ship got hit by a plane
And right here about four years back I met Grasshopper MacClain

The sun was a burnin' and the desert red hot when his mother drove in with a flat
She went inside to cool off with a beer and I saw her kid in the back
He lay on the seat in the swelterin' heat with hair the color of flame
A red headed mite but smilin' and bright was little ol' Grasshopper MacClain
I fixed her tyre and was totin' him round when she asked me how much she owed
I just laughed and said boy I settle for him
And to my surprice she drove off down the road
I figured she'd sober and come hurryin' back but for three long years she never came
And all that time I was mother and dad to little ol' Grasshopper MacClain
I'd tell him of ships I'd sailed on the seas when I put him in bed at night
And that freckle faced kid was as sharp as a tack and quick as a mate for a fight
I thought I'd wait till he growed a bit and let him pick out his own name
One day he came in with a bug in his hand and he said me Grasshopper MacClain
Oh he'd mimic my walk and he'd mimic my talk
Like my shadow he just tagged me around
Even had to be checked every time I was checked by the navy doc over the town
The doc'd laugh and thump his little ole chest and say feller you're right as rain
Then he'd turn to me and tell me that I'd be a new man
Thanks to Grasshopper MacClain
I guess you wonder why I'm tellin' you this well that's why I'm here doin' time
For a bang and a sheriff and a red headed dame that came to take what was mine
Oh but you should've seen the way he fought you could tell that kid was navy trained
But this lonely cell wouldn't be so much like hell if I only had Grasshopper MacClain