A happy start, a sad, sad ending
for every minute of the story
See as their wills are broke and bending
See the good girls in their glory

A primary academy, we're a secondary seminary teaching
finishing rinse, and dancing tips and scorn
Always concerned with plummeting virginity rates
We lecture young girls on how babies are born

Children! make a chain
Oh, children! make a chain

The staff here is severe, yet so altruistic
It hurts us more than it hurts them
The new girls are tender, the old ones sadistic
The late janitress was a gem

Don't believe what the boys from next door heard
Requirements do include math
(A happy start, a sad, sad ending
for every minute of the story)
We draw straws and put our best foot forward
Down the straight and narrow path

Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long
Forget the things you thought you knew,
we'll make a very good girl of you
Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long
Forget the things you thought you knew,
we'll make a very good girl of you

A pupil transferred here from Lavender Lake
She wrote a winning essay on self-denial
Some underage urchins were forced to matriculate,
their records kept here undefiled

A neat retreat slips through their fingers
Which little girl made the plan?
Surely involved were the vespers bell-ringers
Down a ladder, through the gate, then they ran!

Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long
Forget the things you thought you knew,
we'll make a very good girl of you
Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long
Forget the things you thought you knew,
we'll make a very good girl of you

And the girls ran out of the schoolyard and up the hill behind.
"I'm scared!" said the littlest one.
"Don't worry." said the leader.
"They could catch us, or they could kill us,
but they can never crush our spirit!"