Mr. Bourbon And Coke
Laughs at all of my jokes
When he's drinkin'
Mr. Martini stares
He never shares
What he's thinkin'
And Miss Sexy Red Wine
Tells me at closing time
That she'll phone me
Mr. Whiskey Shot Glass
Watches hookers walk past
When he's lonely

Chorus:
I'm a bartender
I pour the drinks
Laugh with the sinners
And cry with the saints
And even if they don't remember
I try to make their bar tender

Mr. Never Does Tip
Says that none of his kids
Ever call home
Mrs. Chews On Her Lip
Tells someone she's at work
On her cell phone
Mrs. Husband Just Died
Always breaks down and cries
On the weekends
Just another long night
In a bartender's life
With some good friends

(Repeat Chorus)

And even if they don't remember
I try to make their bar tender