Destiny was calling
Monday afternoon
Wednesday you'll be crawling
And you'll pray to be there soon
With sports and wine

Some men never grew up
Fortunate like you
Some men never found out
What it takes to be a dude
That's Sports and Wine

The girls don't understand it
What you think is art
My oh my we're all impressed
How sensitive you are
Everybody's talkin' about you now
You know it's true
Always has been sports and wine for you

So you ask me how I think I know
Just what makes you tick
I know what I know y'know
I know you make me sick
Sports and wine

Girls don't understand it
Anything you say
I don't understand it either
Guess that makes me gay
Everybody's talking 'bout you now
You know it's true...