Happy Talkin Captains' tutu's too tight
Means there'll be no more snookering you tonight
P just looks bemused to be on foreign Shores -
AH HA There ain't no Sanity Clause [x4]
[Chorus]
Vanians got a visit from a guy named Drac
Says he's from the bloodbank wants his 10 pints back
Singers rather sickly when it rains it pours -
Oh no, there ain't no Sanity Clause [x4]
[Chorus]

Did you expect that I would believe
the tale you told last Xmas eve
About the man that man is fat and round
Delivers gifts without a sound

[Solo]

[Chorus]

Monty Oxy Moron's Mozart on natural gas
Always playing symphonies out of his ass
Pinch's about to get tied up with Las Vegas laws,
Oh No, there ain't no Sanity Clause

Ho Ho Ho etc