All this porn's distracting me
Trying to drive but all I see
Is 1-800 I'm a man and I'm a woman too
I found it in an old backpack

Tons and Tons I found a stack
Of pages that I could not pull apart

No Girls, No problem
No Girls, No problem

Claims that they are all 18
Though actually 40 or 14
All fake blonds who've got fake boobs
And use some funky flashy word
To claim the girl will eat your turd
And do some funky stuff that I cannot say

Theres no problem with that
Theres no problem that theres no girls

No girls, No problem
No girls, No problem

It's almost time to go record
Three more songs
But we're all floored
'Cause all that we can do
Is look at porn

No problem, No girls
No girls, No problem
No girls, No problem
No girls, No problem
No girls, No problem
No girls, No problem
No girls, No problem