(Campbell, Hornosky, Santoriello)
Oh, Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart
Oh, Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart

I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start
I'm talking 'bout Miss Crabtree, let me tell you sir
False teeth, wooden leg, and a mean temperature
Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart
I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start
Farina never seen ya, Weezer couldn't please ya
Call me Chubby-Ubbsy and you'll be my only teacher
Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart
I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start
My heart is filled with joy, I wanna trip and dance
My heart is filled with joy, I wanna rip my pants
Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart
I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start
Oh, Miss Crabtree, Oh, Miss Crabtree
Oh, Miss Crabtree, Oh, Miss Crabtree
Oh, Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart