The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and a Hong Kong Phooey all in one To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin' I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin' But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause my fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983 But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby Why's everybody always pickin' on me? Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese Or wear a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans And my mirror never lies but it always verifies I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse About as popular with the girls as Englebert Humperdinck And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady Butwhy's everybody always pickin' on me? You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside of their grass hut Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they should have let him be And like a postal clerk I'll go berserk if you don't stop teasing me See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983 But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee But why's everybody always pickin' on me? Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady But why's everybody always pickin' on me?Cause no one likes you monkey boy