Conway - Well you're the reason I'm ridin around on big-capped tires
Loretta - And you're the reason I'm hangin our clothes outside on wires

Both - And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

Oh but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

Conway - Well you're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
Loretta - And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

Both - Chorus

Both - I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need
Cuz when we get ahead, it's got a double mouth to feed

Loretta - And that's the reason my good looks, and my figure is gone
Conway - And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb

Both - Chorus

Loretta (speaking) - Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave,
or put on clean pair of pants?
Conway (speaking) - But Loretta, look at yourself. I wish you'd take
them curlers outta your hair and go put on a little
make-up and get outta that housecoat before supper.
Loretta - Well let me tell you somethin' Conway. Considering everything that
I went through today, I look like a movie star.
Conway - Yeah, Ruth Buzzley.
Loretta - Thank you.
Conway - Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of the family anyways.
Loretta - Oh they did, hunh? What about the ones that's bald?
Conway - Well I guess you could say they took after me.