I love my poster of Thomas Edison
I cry when I spill my ear medicine
I eat prunes when I watch Dr. Quinn
And I idolize the Olsen Twins

We're not very cool, not very cool
We don't get invited to parties
And we get beat up at school
My Mommy says not to pick that scab
And that band Oasis is real fab
I still have training wheels on my bike
I can't believe Tina broke up with Ike
We're not very cool, not very cool
We enjoy playing Pick-Up-Sticks
And peeing in public pools
My face goes red when I say "boobs"
I go to grade 8 dances and shake my groove . . . thang
My Snoopy lunch box works real nice
Don't wanna borrow my comb cause I have lice
We're not very cool, not very cool
I never stay up past 8 o'clock
Cause that's against my mommy's rule
Whoopi Goldberg is a bowser
Here's a tribute to Doogie Howser
I think Captain Kirk could take Picard
Seeing my Grandmother naked left emotional scars
So I have the urge to iron everything now
But I'm not allowed to use it so I guess I'll sing now
We're not very cool, not very cool
When we go to outer space
We'll challenge Darth Vader to a duel
We're not very cool, not very cool
We're not very cool,
But at least we're cooler than you.