Well, we think this world
Is a real nice place
But we think that it's a crime
That we should have an older brother
Who picks on us all the time

So, next time he's sleeping in his room
We're goin' to sneak in and tie him
Then we'll talk him out into the street
And see if someone will buy him

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Only fifty cents
Brother for sale
He's not a big expense
You can hug him
You can bug him
You could buy or rent
Brother for sale,
Only fifty cents

Hey, would anybody like to buy
A slightly used big brother?
Even if you have one now
Trade him for another

He will help you with the chores
And he's fairly clean
The only problem is, sometimes
He can be so mean!

Chorus
Brother for sale
Twenty Five Cents...etc

If mom knew we were selling him
We would really get it
Buy him now, don't pay 'til June
On approved credit
Buy him now, and we'll tell you
What we will do, mister
We'll even throw into the deal
Our little baby sister

Chorus:
Brother for sale
Only ten cents...etc

He will always pick you up
When you take a fall
And he's good at showing you
How to catch a ball
He always tells these funny jokes
And does this crazy dance
Hey, wait!
He sounds like a pretty nice guy...
Let's give him one more chance

Our brother's not for sale
Not for any price
Our brother's not for sale
We guess he will suffice
We like to hug him
We like to bug him
He's really rather nice
Our brother's not for sale
Not for any price!