The Empty Bottle was half-empty tide was low and I was thirsty
Saw her sitting at the bar you know how some girls are
Always making eyes well she wasn't making eyes
So I sidled up beside her settled down and shouted hi there

My name's Stewart Ransom Miller I'm a serial lady killer
She said I'm already dead that's exactly what she said
So we tripped the lights fantastic we was both made of elastic
Midnight came and midnight went and I thought I was the president
She said do you have a car and I said do I have a car?

What's so great about the barrier reef
What's so fine about art
What's so good about a Good Times van
When you're working on a broken working on a broken
Working on a broken man

My heart wasn't in it not for one single minute
I went through the motions with her her on top and me on liqour
Didn't do no good well I didn't think it would

What's so great about the barrier reef
What's so fine about art
What's so good about a Good Times van
When you're working on a broken working on a broken
Working on a broken man