It's a small town life and I like it 
'Cause the bad don't get in your way 
There's an angry God gonna strike it 
Yeah, that's what we pay him for, that's why we pray 
Well I guess the angry God he was a-fishing 

When Molly called me up with the news 
Within the space of a week 
Yeah, a pervert or a sex freak 
Let the kids take a peek 
That's more than a little cheek 
No pun intended 

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay 
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman 
And you don't act smart and you don't touch my children 
If the young man wants to see the sun go down 

Well there was no time fooling with the trifles 
So there was no use in telling the men 
They would just go running for their rifles 
And then once you got him couldn't get him again 
So Peg got a bolt of fishing tackle 
And Marge got her gardening clips 
And Sally LaBiche put her hound on a leash 
And the timer on the quiche, she's kind of nouveau riche 
But we like her 

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay 
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman 
And you don't act fresh and you don't touch my children 
If the young man wants to see the sun go down 

It was the kids who spotted him a running 
As we drove through the harbor fog 
And that's when we got our engines gunning 
'Cause we knew he was headed for the cranberry bog 
We got our hip-high rubber boots strapped on 
And Molly got the big flashlights out 
And by the "Welcome to New England" sign 
Got him with the fishing line 
In the dark smell of brine 
Betty said "This one is mine." 
She is ruthless 

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay 
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman 
And you just say no and you don't touch my children 
If the young man wants to see the sun go down 

Well we didn't have to drag him and a-jail him 
'Cause you don't have to take it so far 
When your roots go back to Old Salem 
And you've got a local chapter of the DAR 
Now I don't go tooting on my lobsters 
'Cause your pride doesn't go with your plaid 
But it's a victory won and it couldn't be done 
By the hippy-dippy flaky-shaky fun-in-the-sun 
Braless wonders 

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay 
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman 
And you know your place and you don't touch my children 
If the young man wants to see the sun go down 
If the young man wants to see the sun go down