* sung to the same tune as Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train" *
Shean's a cheese and he hits on ugly girls
He thinks that he's the best drinker in the world
But Dan knows that he can drink Shean under the table

Because he's here - he's ready, willing and he's able
Why was Shean in the bathroom for an hour?
Could it be he's doing laundry in the shower?
Can't pay for cigarettes or even for his rent
He doesn't have it but it already is spent
You lazy, stinking, fucking slob
Get off your ass and get a job
Maybe then we wouldn't have to see you here...
(chorus:)
Runaway Shean - never come back
Run away to that house that sells crack
Get your fucking ass out of my house
I'd rather live with a cockroach or a mouse
Shean comes home real drunk and he wishes
That tiny elves have cleaned up all the dishes
He's on a diet of spaghetti and baked beans
His smelly feet can make your face turn green
What are all these empty cans doing right here?
Oh, I forgot... it's Shean's admission to "Free Beer"
He'll get real drunk tonight and then what will he do?
Probably start a fight with Pi Alpha Nu
If you come home and break a glass
Brett's gonna kick you in your ass
Why don't you just pass out on the couch?
(and then we'll sign you out)
* repeat chorus *
Shean gets dissed by girls like thirty times a week
Sometimes he gets so mad he hardly even speaks
But that's alright with me - you know I'm not complaining
It just means more air time for me that I am gaining...
* repeat chorus 2x and fade out *
DEDICATED TO THE CREW AT 244 ONTARIO STREET -
THE SUMMER OF '93... ALBANY, NEW YORK.....
.. THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES!