All my days
I live with my disgrace
I?m afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don?t have a matching set
It?s a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don?t stare
Well I?m a gambling man with out two dice
I?m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I?m half a man
Yeah, I?m half a man

Wanna die
********* just call it quits
I can?t find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear ?ball one?

Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that?s there must feel so sad
He?s a lonely man (?)

Well I?m a marathon runner with just one leg
I?m a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I?m half a man

Well I?m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I?m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I?m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I?m just half a man
Yeah, I?m half a man