Well there's women in the city that make me feel shitty
And there's some that make me pack a wad
But the ones that are fine, oh will never be mine
They won't even give me the time of day

I ain't got no money, I ain't got no home
I gotta find me a bim to live with tonight

Sport'n a woody, when you're walkin' by
Sport'n a woody, when you're titties fly
Sport'n a woody, rippin' my fly
Sport'n a woody, till the day I die yeah

Well my woody gets big when you're takin' a swig
And your drink's makin' you loosen up
Starts a-talkin' to me, well look down and you'll see
What the hell I been talkin' about

Don't know what I'm gonna do, can't stop lookin' at you
'Cause you're sure lookin' nice to me
Well I wish you were sedated
So I could at least penetrate you
For an hour, maybe three yeah
I can't go downtown much, all the working girl butts
Ya know they really make my woody happy
But in the night clubs and such
And all the corner sluts
Might just make my waistband go snappy!

Sport'n a woody
Sport'n a woody
Sport'n a woody
Sport'n a woody, for the rest of my life I'll be...