-side of Smash It Up 7" (Chiswick/Big Beat Records 1979)


(Vanian/Scabies/Sensible/Ward)

Here we go now!


I'm a villan I'm a rogue

I'll nick your wallet or garden gnome

I'm a burglar I'm a cad

An open window I'm in your home


I'll have your tools or kiddies toys

And I'm not safe - a joy of joys

I'll be the gasman or a toad

I'll have your telly or garden hose


While I'm scoping in the dark

I'll strap your dog so he won't bark

I won't disturb your only dreams

But if you wake up there's no screams


I'll nick anything removable

From the QE2 to the toilet paper in the houses of parliment

I'll even have the milk off your doorstep

Or the skin off a baby seals back


'cause I'm a real villan (played backwards)


I'll steal the paper or the milk

Or warn your neighbours or the bill

I'm a stealer I'm a crook

Read about me in Mich's book


Burglary is a life for me

Burglary is a life for me

People say that crime don't pay

I drink champagne every day


And the good lord said 'thou shall not steal'

There is only one path and that is the straight and narrow

It's a bit too bleeding straight and a bit too narrow for my liking


Ok gov It's a fair cop

Throw on the bracelets

Chink chink oh god I'm nicked


I sentence you to six months...

Take him away