The son of god once showed his face
upon my tortilla
since that day, my faith's renewed
he won't let me faulter
he guides me down a golden path

he shields me from sin
without the spirit life's meaningless
I'll go the distance with him
I've been to the point of no return
suggestive poster on my wall
I'd participate in gluttony
greed and wanton lust
I cheated on my S.A.T.'s
once I double parked
if you asked then for a cigarrette
there was a good chance I had one
there was a good chance that I had one
oh yeah, there's a chance that I had one
oh yeah, there's a chance that I had one
yeah. I'd sloth around in my underwears
just watching tv
my former friends they stay out late
they drink and carry on (that's wrong)
they go on dates with party girls
and stay in cheap motels
I stay home and try to better myself
by burning science books
once I tried to masturbate
and finger my own ass
when I marry I'll procreate
hands off myself till then
christmas, easter, they're ok
but the meaning has been lost
remember friend it wasn't santa
oh yeah, it wasn't santa
oh yeah, it wasn't santa
oh yeah. I serve the lord at the telethon
ready to man the phones
for him I'll always vote pro-life
those critics should be bombed
power up's here to lead the flock
lead to salvation (army)
jesus christ superstar
is my favorite song