On a Tuesday afternoon,
My mom came in my room,
And said, "Get the fuck up out of bed, and get a God damn job."
So I told her, "Hey hey. Fuck you mom."

And I threw the phone at her head but I missed and hit her in the
snatch
So I slammed the door in her face
Don't ever barge in my room
Or I'll kick your ass and call the cops
And tell them I'm abused
And you'll wind up in jail
While I snowboard in Vail
No one to post your bail.
'Cause daddy loves me more.
He says that you're a...

Chorus

You're worthless, you're lazy, you're stupid.
A little overweight.
Now give me 20 bucks.
Mommy you're so worthless, you're lazy, you're stupid.
A little overweight.
Now give me 20 bucks, now make it 50... bucks.

Now mom writes me letters.
I write return to sender
Let her rot there in her cell.
I watched the dogs mate on her bed.
Sorry mom
I had to pawn
The china, silver, and all your jewelry.
I had to eat and wrecked a bunch of prostitues like you!

Chorus

Now make it 60 bucks, now make it 75. Why don't you just give me
your whole God damn purse? I hope you're having fun rotting
in jail. Maybe I'll come visit you. Nah!

Enjoy your life in jail....