Joey: "I wish I wasn't so insecure with my masculinity...maybe then I wouldn't have to talk about raping women and commiting suicide, or wear this stupid mask to shock little kids and make myself feel more hardcore and powerful. The truth is, we only care about two things...$MONEY$ and...CHEESE."

This morning I woke up and everything was gray,
I tried to slit my wrists and throat,
With this piece of extra sharp cheddar I founf in my bed,

Then I realized that there's one thing that makes this life,
Worth living...and that's nothing,
Nothing but cheese...

(chorus): Fuck everything (except cheese)
I hate my life (but I love cheese)
I wish I was dead (if it wasn't for cheese)
I'm so hardcore (and so is cheese)

I'm only living for the cheese
The cheese that keeps me going
Fresh Mozzerella and sweet Parmasean
Once I cut myself on the lawn
And then I founf something that made me smile
And it was cheese...cheese...CHEESE!

(chorus X2)

Fuck you and fuck your family too
I hate you all, I hate everything
I'm so cool and deep and twisted
But I'm nothing without the cheese
The cheese that gives me a reason to
Get up in the morning...to move on with my life

And I just don't know if I can take this
I don't want to live another second
I'm gonna rape you, yall best be scared
Because I'm a tough badass
But don't hurt yourself
Because then I'd get sued
And MTV would break their contract with me
And I'd have no money
Not even cheese

(chorus X2)

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK

(random screaming)

I HATE EVERYTHING

THE CHEESE!
THE CHEESE!
GOD DAMMIT THE CHEESE!

(chorus repeats and slowly fades until song's end)