all you lasses in varnasses swallowing swords
shooting out fire at us heathen hordes
I was thinking something before I began
but then you done cut off both of my hands

now I do my drinking through bamboo straws
constantly kicking at tarantulas
what was I thinking? move to baltimore?
o yeah. the great outdoors

jump into the water
keel-hauled on the constallations
don't sell my belongings
cause you know that I'll be back

remember when I told you that I was a samurai?
well the fact of the matter is that was a lie
there were some other things that i'd rather not recall
y'all can blame it all ont he alcohol
but you ain't got no business criticizing me
this is my house and I'll do as I please
what was I thinking? move to baltimore?
o yeah. the great outdoors

move it on over and give me a slice

if you're int he market for a green zucchini
farmer's almanac got the largest size
winnebago woman what ya cooking?
move it on over and give me a slice

I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics
if I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets
and maybe do an interview with Larry King while floating
I'd be a richer man today if it weren't for physics
if I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets

move it on over and give me a slice