Came to the party on my own
Didn't wanna leave alone
So this one girl caught my eye
Till I saw the size of her thighs
It's too late she's coming my way
So I guess I'll pretend I'm gay
She said oh really have a beer
Then she stuck her tongue in my ear

And if I have another drink I think I'm gonna be sick
But I know I can't be sober if I'm gonna touch this chick
It's a shame that none of my friends can get Hallucinagens
So I guess I'll have to use my beer goggles again

Now we're sitting on the couch
And my cup tips toward my mouth
Drain the bottle, hit the bong
Makes each minute seem so long
I take another trip to the tap
Soon she's sitting on my lap
And with all these drinks I've had
That girl doesn't look so bad

Now it's morning my head pounds
Open my eyes and look around
She's beside me in her bed
And my arm's stuck under her head
The night before seems such a blur
Why did I go home with her?
Before she wakes I gotta leave
If I could only find my keys