Folksong Gig from Hell
or, We Only Do it for the Money
(Bob Clayton)
We were with a singer friend, driving north a few short miles,
To see him do an opening act, and that just made us smile;

With rising expectations, we were headed out of town,
When right there in the high-speed lane the poor old van broke down.
cho: It's a long way to sing a folksong,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to sing a folksong,
Through the icy wind and snow.
Good-bye to ease and comfort
And hello toil and woe!
It's a long, long way to sing a folksong
But you know that we'd all go.
We got onto the shoulder of the lane divider there
With rush-hour traffic on both sides in the chilly winter air.
The van was rocking every time a truck came bruising past
And I thought, "We've really done it now, this trip may be our last."
We fiddled with the wire and clamps and all that other stuff,
But the engine never caught again, it didn't have enough.
It looked just like the coil had blown, although it was brand-new
And we began to think for us the evening's fun was through.
So then we all got bundled up and gave up on the ride,
Crossed three lanes of traffic and climbed a steep hillside;
Found a phone at a station there, and called a tow-truck fast
Then called the club where our friend's first gig looked like to be
his last.
Surprise, surprise! the club said, "Wait, we'll send a car for you!
We promised you a chance to sing, it's the least that we can do."
So, to make a longish story short, we all got to the club
Some sooner, and some later, and that's, of course, the rub.
You see, someone had to go and get our cars, way back in town
And the two of us who did so can remember with a frown.
We wasted time, spent money, never ate and ---here's the thing
Missed our friend's guest set, and never got to hear him sing.
Now we get down to the case, the nub, the camel's straw.
We didn't miss the headline act, and that's the final flaw.
Amateur, uninteresting, and out-of-tune as well
And we had to sit and listen in this folksong gig from Hell.
tune: It's a Long Way to Tipperary
filename[ FOLKHELL
play.exe TIPRARY
RG
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