I don't have much to offer
or anything at all
I look like death warmed over
you're like a living doll

Okay, I may be the worst that you have seen
But I'm King Dork and I want you to be my Queen, e-een, e-een, whoa-o
I'm King Dork and I want you to be my Queen

You're too dear to put a price on
and when I talk to you
You're more than Monty Python
Star Trek or Dr. Who
You're much more than
MST3K or D&D yeah

I'm King Dork and I want you to be with me, e-ee, e-ee, whoa-o
I'm King Dork and I want you to be with me-e-e-e-e.

Once you get used to it
Maybe you can love me just a little bit
Would that be, such a catastrophe?
So don't start screaming yet
Just lower your standards and get set
Whatever it takes, however it has to be

Those other girls can't stand me
There's none as fair as you
But if they see you and me
It might embarass you
So we'll go where they will never see you

I'm King Dork and I want you to be with me, e-ee, e-ee, whoa-o
I'm King Dork and I want you to be my
I'm King Dork and I want you to be my
I'm King Dork and I want you to be my Queen