I used to go to all the parties
And make love to all the beautiful ladies
And I'd eat cheeseburgers with with bacon and extra grease when I was hungry
And drink Windex coladas until my skin turned blue

But now, the times they are changing
My lifestyle, it is rearranging
For debauchery may be fun and entertaining
But it is also very bad for you

Do you know how many diseases you can get
Making love to someone who has not had all their tests
So nowadays I am celebate
And I wear a condom in case I have dirty thoughts
I never drive my car past the speed limit
And I alway wear my seatbelt when I am in it
I traded my Lambourghini for a Honda Civic
Because it is more fuel efficient and practical

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh
Being boring is the way to go
Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh
Having fun is bad for you

I can no longer smoke my cigarettes
Because I found that they are a major cause of death
The tar and nicotine have not killed me yet
But if I got pregnant, it could hurt my baby
I used to love my swarthy complexion
I tanned myself to perfection
But the sun can give you a cancerous infection
So now I am white and pasty and I never leave the house
I used to eat like there was no tomorrow
But then I found cholesteral is full of sorrow
The last thing I want to do is to have to borrow
Somebody else's heart because mine is full of fatty deposits

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh
Being boring is the way to go
Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh
Having fun is bad for you
Having fun is bad for you